Long Island is a serious place , filled with unsound accents and crazy people wander around , like Verizon technicians . Eric Stetz jazz mere deadbolt wo n’t keep them out . No , you ’ve got ta get medieval , Conan the Barbarian style . So he built a booby bunker out of a monumental knife , crutch and pliable misstep - electric cord to stab intruders in the head word . To destruction . Like the Verizon hombre schedule to visit his apartment .
as luck would have it for Mr. Verizon , the construction ’s super drop by to make trusted everything was coolheaded , and managed to nullify being chop sueyed with his ninja super skills as the tongue crack at him like cobra when he open up the doorway . When arrested , Eric asked the pig “ Did anyone get hurt with my knife ? I wish they did . ” Since they did n’t , the court of law thought it was coolheaded to release this dude on bail . I love this country . [ NewsdayviaGothamist ]
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